"THAT" TRANSITION

Effective communication does not just happen, especially when it has to do with an older person communicating with younger minds. 

It is no longer news that the level of parent-child communication dwindles as children transit to adulthood (the period called adolescence) if intentional measures are not taken.

It is thus important to note that Parent-child communication is best when built from childhood into adolescence else it will be harder breaking the walls they tend to build while growing.

WHY THE BIG DEAL ABOUT PARENT-CHILD COMMUNICATION ESPECIALLY DURING ADOLESCENCE?

In addition to what we know about Adolescence; it is that period they build their self image, root for acceptance among peers and adults, form life values and make decisions that may have massive influence on their adult lives.

With all that adolescence entails, you can only imagine how challenging it may be for someone who is not prepared for such changes. These changes bring  about increased flare for autonomy which in turn changes their behaviours, they tend to be more secretive especially in environments where there is little or no communication.

At this point their major role models are their peers and onscreen celebrities (yes, they don't know that most of what they see on soap operas are just make beliefs).

You may see them start acting or dressing different, this is because they have painted a picture of what life should be like based on what the society or people on social media whom they try to model have potrayed which obviously may vary from your expectations and the right track.

Now your role as a parent, guardian or caregiver is not to take the brush with which they paint the picture from them, but rather guide them to paint the right picture with the right colours. If this process is not properly handled or communicated, it may affect or create a gap in your relationship with them.

Once you are able to navigate the stage of adolescence successfully, most part of youthful grooming is made easier. 

Keep in mind that your mode of communication gives them a perception of how much you value them. It builds their self values, beliefs and esteem. 

Same way evil communication corrupts good manners, good communication fosters strong and healthy relationships.

Someone may say 'I'm a career woman/man", "I'm a very busy person and I don't have the time" 

My response is; " please make out time now for good to avoid regrets later".

Another may ask "How do I start? I haven't been doing this, I don't even know how to".

Start anywhere...

Communication with your adolescent  mustn't be planned except in rare cases where you are in a haste and have to tell them "Okay dear, Mummy/Daddy has to run but I promise we'll talk about this when I'm back"

See that "dear" I included in the statement above? Believe me, it's very important. This tribe of special Youngstars like feeling important and those terms of endearment is one of the ways to show them they are.

Show care and genuine interest in whatever they have to discuss with you and they will look forward to the conversation.

You can have random conversations while driving, doing chores or just taking a breath of fresh air outside. 

You can also get them to open up by showing empathy or sharing your own adolescence/ similar experiences even as an adult. It makes them feel better and secured knowing you have experienced and have an understanding of what they are going through at the moment.

It's true that some of these wonderful set of persons need 'strong hand' and some people use 'spare the rod and spoil the child' as an excuse to turn them into punching bags.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying don't beat them but know the limit because when they get too used to it, it will make little or no difference at all. Too much of everything (except money) is not good at all.

Tackle the challenge not your child and please don't make a sermon about it. Nagging doesn't really help most times.

 

Don't compare them with their peers, they are unique individuals so see them as such not as people who should act like others. Comparing them could mar their self esteem making them feel inferior or incapable of getting things right. 

Finally... Love and accept them; don't just say it, show them. 

An environment of love fosters growth and accomplishments.

TRY THESE AND THANK ME LATER.

PLEASE LEAVE YOUR QUESTIONS AND FEEDBACKS IN THE COMMENTS SECTION.

Love,

Victoria Noah

Your Adolescents and growth advocate.